I have always admired those who could get what they always wanted. I somehow fall for those who know how to make their dreams come true. Maybe because I have never been able to do the same. Everyday when I get up I think would be a better day than yesterday but I am always wrong. I might sound pessimistic but I think there is something wrong with me and my destiny. They just can't go together. No matter how hard I try I fall in the same pit again. Pit of failure.
But as they say where there is a will there is a way. I am still searching that way.
You guys must be thinking why the hell are we even reading all this. If you really think so, please log off.
From my past experiences of failure, I have learnt only one thing and that is HOPE.
This is not a motivation blog or something of the kind. Its just the experience. I belong to a family where nobody even knows the meaning of word 'creative'. My dad a government servant and mom a housewife brought me up with only one teaching that we are a middle class family. Be in your limits. Never think too big. I suppose this is the case with almost all the middle& lower middle class families.So, if anybody in family like mine tries to do something different he is either considered to be a fool or badly influenced.
You would find my writing way too simple than other blogs or write ups you read. I am a simple man. My girlfriend calls me boring and an introvert, to which I simply smirk.
Hope, is the word which keeps me going.
I was an athlete in my school days.
Annual Sports Week.It was my first long race. I got up at 3 that morning. Excited. At 4 I was practicing and warming up my body for the race. The race would start at 6. I started running.I was half way when all of a sudden my chest tightened up and I couldn't breath. Everything was dark. The next thing I remember was the tag on me. Disqualified. I was broken. I didn't let my tears come out as I didn't want me to look like a failure.
I never ran after that, I couldn't. I had a slip disk which I realised afterwards.
I accepted it and moved on. I never let it affect my confidence in myself although because of my physical illness I could never go back to sports but I do no regret it.
I had a hope that there is something much more interesting in store for me.
I came to Delhi with dreams of being a popular writer. I studied journalism, then advertising. But I guess all in vain.
To be continued....
ALOK
